Craziness

I feel like such a slacker on posting lately. I have had so much on my mind that there aren't a lot of great post ideas that have been popping up. My almost-three year-old has been having behavioral problems the past couple of weeks, my husband just switched companies and is out of town all week, and...I am going to start in-vitro in a couple of weeks. Which, not surprisingly, is very scary and intimidating.

So much has been going through my mind, and I am a little bit ashamed to admit that part of my crazy thoughts have been about the potential weight I could gain as I go through this process, (you have to stop exercising and be on bed-rest for a while.) I know, it is the last thing I should worry about, but I feel like I have worked so hard for this progress I have made, and worried that I won't be strong enough to be super strict with my eating while dealing with all of the drugs that I have to take, etc. (That is another story in itself, how many drugs I have to take...)

Then, pregnancy. I gained over 50 lbs last time. I have a small frame, and near the end of my term, I could barely walk because my body couldn't handle all the weight. It was miserable. I am DETERMINED to not gain that much weight again, but I have to admit I am really scared.

I am opening up like this because I would like to come to terms with it all before the process actually happens. I don't want my brain and all these fears to ruin everything.

So bear with me, and I will hopefully be able to at least post some of the time. Just may not be as frequently as I have in the past.